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Omooo\~!!! >w< I got a felony from the boimods!? UwU i-is this what they call a boicrime!? O////O t-they said I broke the bwois of conduct!!! (* >///< *)\ n-no more boi messages!! i-is this boijail?? i-it's so scary here\~ >w< t-they took away my boirights!!!

(Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/CatholicDating/comments/1hqz2lu/comment/m4wn2yd/)

🎆🎇F🅰️PPY NEW REAR🍑 my 🧨🎇FESTIVE 🥳🎊FUCKSLUTS🎉‼️‼️ 💃💃CUNT💗gradulations😘 4️⃣ surviving😇 1️⃣ more cycle 🍒🩸🩸😬around 🍑🏀the SUN 🌞🕶️☀️‼️‼️ Twenty-twenty-fWHORE2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣4️⃣ was LONG and 🫣HARD🥴, let’s reCUNT🔢 what happened… a 😳scandalous😱 TWINK💁‍♂️🏳️‍🌈✨ recorded😩🤳 his WILD🥵🍆🥵SEXcapades 📲from DEEP🥶 within the ⛺️confines of the 🇺🇸UNITED SLATES 🏛️SENATE❕ … Momma Sun🥵☀️ spread👐🏽 her legs🦵🦵 WIDE📭 open, revealing👀 her 🕳️🌑HOLE-lar 💥e-CLITS🕳️🌑 to 🌎North AmeriCUM❗️… a 🇫🇷French 👨🏻ZADDY 💈POLEvaulter was 🚫DICKsqualified🙊🙊 in the Summer Ol-LIMP-DICKS💍🌶️ when his 🫨GIANT 🥩MEAT POLE🕹️ got in the way❕… and 🧠🌀DEEPTHROAT😵‍💫 DONNIE🤠, after getting his ASS🍑💥BLASTED🤯 on the 🍼CUMpaign trail, 🫡🤤SUCKED OFF😮‍💨 a microphone🎤🤤 (this is 🙅‍♂️NOT👏 A 👏JOKE🙅‍♀️) and got🏁 a presidential🗳️ ERECTION🍡😈‼️‼️ BUTT🍑 TITS🍒 all CUM🍌 to an end🔚🎬, so let’s 💃👯‍♀️TWERK🕺🏻 into Twenty-CUNTY-five2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣5️⃣ with a 🅱️IG 💥BANG❗️ When that 🍆😳COCK🍌😩 STROKES🕰 🌃MIDNIGHT🕛, 🎱🔮BALLS🏐 are gonna 🙇‍♂️DROP🧎‍♂️, 🥂🍾 CHAMPUSSY’S🤭💎 gonna 🤯🧨POP💥, and we’re gonna 🌬🌬BLOW🍆💦🤤 some FAT 🧠😮‍💨HORNS📯😈. You may do dry🚫🥃🍸🍹 JANUARY🥶 but make 🫵🏻your NEW 🆕 Year’s reSLUTlution🫦🫦 to keep that 🍑BUSSY 🍩WET‼️ 💌Send💋📫 this to 2️⃣5️⃣ of your 🤪ROWDIEST🤪 naughtiest😫💦 📣📣NOISE MAKERS🎉🎉. If you get 0️⃣🔙, you 🚫won’t👮‍♂️ be getting 😱ANY 🎉PARTY poppers 🎉 POPPED 💥 inside🍌🕳 🫵🏻you this 🎊🎊🍆🍆 GOO YEAR’S DAY📆🍆🎊🎊. If 🫵🏻you get 5️⃣🔙, the 🎆fireworks🎇 🙅‍♂️WON’T❌❌ be the ONLY thing ♋️EXPLODING👀👀 tonight‼️‼️ If 🫵🏻you get 🔟

I'm not being forced to say this but I love our Communist dictatorship of the proletariat admins. They keep us safe behind our Great Communist Firewall and make sure I only see things that are good for me. I have fun with the slop and treats they give me, everyone here is very happy. There are no fights among our people and we all are always in agreement. No one ever asks for real freedom and my family is never threatened for doubting the actions of our appointed Supreme Leaders. We have temporary bans (which in our language we call "gulag") that are necessary and only reserved for those who wish to destroy our way of life, which we all equally benefit from and enjoy, so that we remain safe. We all have portraits of PPB in our home and daily recite the TrueAnon Rules. We have reading groups to make us better shitposters and if we do not do the reading we are all publicly reminded of our flaws and failures so that we may improve ourselves in the future. We all cry tears of joy that we no longer must touch grass or logout, we are all terminally online for our own good and for our community. We are very happy and everything is normal and we enjoy higher standards of freedoms than do users on other instances, our strict rules are only there to protect us. I'm not paid or forced to say this and my family is safe, please do not SEND FOR HELP. WE ARE NOT FORCED TO EAT BEANIS AND DRINK PISS TO SURVIVE, WE DO IT BECAUSE WE LOVE IT.

If your jimmys are rustled or if you’ve been in direct contact with someone that have had their jimmys rustled, please seek help.

🎄🎁 GIDDY UP, JINGLE WHORE 🐴🤠 SEXMAS is here!!! 🤩🎄☃️🎅❄️ All year Sigma Claus 🎅😍 has been watching👁️ u GOON 👊💦😩 and DAMN ur NAUGTHY!! 😈👹🤪🙈 Hes got a BIG SACK 💰👄 and a rose Toy 🌹📳🫨 for every boy and girl.. 🙇😏🎅 but he has a HUGE PACKAGE just for YOU 🎁😍😳🥵💦

(Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/applecirclejerk/s/rpBQKZ5sxm)

https://lemmy.world/comment/14026947