Crazy Ideas

Actual genuine tutorial video on how to do car maintenance. It's an actual real tutorial on how to change your oil, and spark plugs. But then the instructor takes off his pants, and has sex with the woman who brought her car in for servicing. And the other customers waiting in the lobby start playing cheesy saxophone music.

you could have a saw fingernail for cutting wood, a file fingernail for fileing, a razor fingernail for cutting, and an axe fingernail for chopping your wood. the design is very human 🥰

The people of California will be united again! California will be whole once more!

Orange juice but dyed blue

Here are the reasons why: 1. It will be much quieter 2. It sounds nicer 3. If you get angry and ring your bell at someone it just sounds silly

I might be high

Ok, so here's what you do.

It would show one of the Cox internet installation technicians as he has various shots of him doing his job, but also talking to the camera. He's the traditional image of what women want is. He's like 6'5, 320lbs of muscle.

Look at a map. Look right above Michigan. See that splotch of land right above Michigan? Yeah....that's ALSO Michigan. It looks like it should be Wisconsin on account of how obvious it is. But no. Michigan is just like "This is also ours because we lost a war to Ohio and so now we need a consolation prize."

Where you can walk on a treadmill while watching a movie

Ok, so......I was just watching some youtube videos, right? Turns out gorillas are amazing. The gorillas at your zoo remember you. They act different around zoo regulars. They enjoy seeing the regulars, as if they're friends. They can tell the difference between a child actually crying as opposed to a child PRETEND to cry. They get worried when their regulars children are crying for real. It stresses them, because they're behind a glass wall, and can't comfort the child. They put their hand against the glass as if to show they want to be there for the crying child. But if the "crying child" were just faking, the gorillas would sense it was fake, and they'd play and roll around. As if to be part of the fun. So gorillas are really smart who understand the world they're seeing. They have empathy. They see life the way people do.

Woman: You see her? You think she's pretty?

You know like those liquid honey dispensers? I would buy the shit out of this.

Middle of night woke up just to write this somewhere. Sorry is words are bad.

i think it would incentivize engagement and reduce misjudgments and it could go something like this

It's a movie about Keenan and Kel working at Good Burger in their mid 40s. They have mental trauma so they regularly call radio psyciatrist Fraiser Krane.

I am NOT ok with music in the 90s being refered to as "oldies". Oasis is NOT oldies!!!

So it's these little GPS enabled robots the size of a marble. You stick them up your butt, and then they walk around, and map your insides, sending real time data and imaging to your doctor.

Person - Nick Jagger.

Let's change the law to bring back the old Germanic tradition of judicial trial by combat. But make it specific to consumer and labor rights disputes. Got a beef with a company? Forget binding arbitration. You can now challenge the CEO to a one-on-one sword fight. The battle will be decided....by the blade! Legally speaking, we'll just assume the fight is in God's hands, and whatever the consumer rights or labor dispute in question, the side that survives is the automatic winner.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074042/

Idiocracy: Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph, Terry Crews

Ok, so I can't even decide which one of the multiple ideas I had while wrapping presents to post, so I'm just making a combined post. These are all TOO good to not share.

So I have an idea about how to win over a womans heart.....full disclosure, you're gonna have to murder a guy. But he has to be into it. So this one is kind of hard to pull off.

Pretty sure the title says it all, but the dildo could be anywhere, even in a cop's gun holster LOL!

What about a love story, typical bullshit you always see on the hallmark channel, and you watch it for the whole movie.

And yes, I realize that by proposing this, I'll probably be the first one voted into the Sea. That's fine. I'm willing to take one for the team.