[email protected]
Because, because, because, because, because, becaaauuuuse… she pulled up her panties weirdly after taking a whizz. 🙄
I know that some Lemmy clients / browsers / devices can't display images this size. I kept the resolution as low as possible. That may help.
“Doctor, why is my thingy glistening?”
So technically, she's a creator?
The unsung heroes of the underground.
May the 4th be with you. 🖖😎
Part of a collab I once did with RealMundiRiki.
It just hits different. 🤔
Cuz he ain't wanna endup like stained glass. 😝
Wasn't that a song? 'The Hurl Of Life'? 🤢
I’d collapse my colony too if I encountered this near my hive.
An often overlooked condition. ☝😮
Once upon a time on top of a mountain...
This is a long one. I hope Lemmy can display it properly.
"This mission is too important for me" MY ASS!
A random dumb joke to (hopefully) light your path to happiness. 🌞
Dealing with your new partner’s pet. 🤷♂️
Some silliness to brighten your day. 😀
It’s spring time at the Customer Service desk. 😉
I hope Lemmy shows it sharp (enough). I've had trouble with larger comics before.
Hint: it isn't a movie.
Is this an innocent bit of flirting in the workplace, or…? 🤔
I think about this every workday.
Not much room for error. 😉
Ever wonder what it tasted like? 😋
The ele𝗽𝘂𝗻t did not like that. 😶
Ever had diarrhea at work? 😖
Just don't zoom in on his disco balls. 🤞😓🤞
No touching.
Spiraling is universal. 🙄
Just a silly little joke that (hopefully) gets you through the day. ☺️
What do you peeps think? Should I more educational stuff? 😜
Animals can be so cruel. 😶
Would a round trip be twice as long as infinite? 🤔
Quitting as loud as possible is also an option. 😎
Still truth in advertising, I suppose.
Here's one for a Somewhat Sad Sunday.
Now, who put the ‘fur’ in ‘furniture’? 🤷♂️
Let's start 2025 with a simple comic, so not to strain my alcohol soaked brain. 😅
When an influencer doesn’t “read” the “signs”... 😉😏
Part of last year’s ‘Santa Draws’ series.
Here's a silly visual pun to distract you from all the going-ons.
Just some guys laughing at fashion, as they do. 😎
A (de)motivational comic to ru(i)n your day. 😉
The hell with power naps to become more productive. How about taking power wakes to get more sleep while remaining functional. 😎
Feddit.online
c/custardfist
CustardFist
![A man is jogging in a quiet area of a park at night. An alien spacecraft appears and hovers above him. The spacecraft pulls him up into the ship with some sort of tractor beam. The man is now standing opposite a humanoid alien entity. The alien raises its hand in a kind of symbolic way. The man also raises his hand, thinking it is a form of greeting. The alien makes several other gestures, that the man copies. The alien bends over and spreads its butt cheeks. The man hesitates. The alien seems disappointed. The man slowely lowers. The alien has a metal device in its hands. The alien violently shoves an anal probe up the man’s ass. [PLORT] Alien: HAHAAA! ANAL PROBE! YOU IDIOTS NEVER LEARN! The alien casually wipes his hands on a towel. Alien: ANYWAY, YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO POOP UNTIL THE PROBE DISLODGES IN FIVE OF YOUR EARTH DAYS. Man: YOU GUYS SUCK, YOU KNOW THAT?!? The alien kicks out the man from the ship. The man falls onto some bushes. The alien looks through the hatch and gives some additional instructions. Alien: SHUT UP! IT’S FOR SCIENCE! NOW, TRY NOT TO EAT TOO MUCH. The spacecraft disappears into the distance. The man grabs his mobile phone and starts typing. The spacecraft quickly reappears from the distance and the alien sticks its head out of the hatch once more. Alien: OH, AND DON't DO PODCASTS! STAY AWAY FROM JOE ROGAN! Man: GAAAH! YOU GUYS REALLY REALLY REALLY SUCK!!!!](https://feddit.nl/pictrs/image/6fd02830-1577-4261-9a70-1eeb5bbeb8cb.webp)
![This is a comic strip Panel 1: In a coal mine, a canary is sitting in its little cage. Around him, miners are hard at work. Panel 2: Close-up of the canary. Its eyes roll back and it begins to tip forward. Panel 3: Canary topples forward and collapses at the bottom of the cage. A nearby miner notices this. Panel 4: Miner holds up the canary’s cage and alarms his coworkers: Miner: THE CANARY’S DEAD! GAAAAAASSSSS! Panel 5: The miners run in a panic towards the elevator shaft and shout at each other. Miner: RUUUUUUN! Miner: RUN! Miner: EVACUATE! Miner: HOLD YER BREATH! Miner: GET TO THE SHAFT! Miner: WHICH SHAFT?!? Miner: MINE SHAFT!!! Miner: RUN FASTER! Panel 6: Miners are crammed into an open lift. Some men are hanging off the sides. Miner: GO UP!!! Miner: UP!!! Miner: UP TO THE SURFACE!!! Miner: GO FASTER!!! Miner: PULL THE LEVER HARDER!!! Panel 7: The miners fall out of the lift as soon as it reaches the surface. Miner: AIR! Panel 8: Miners lie exhausted on the ground. In the foreground is our dead canary’s cage, standing near a few other cages with canaries in them. Panel 9: Laughter comes from the other cages. Other canaries: HAHAHA! PETEY, YOU CRAZY SON OF A BITCH! It turns out that our dead canary was just pretending and it tries really hard to hold its laughter. From the corner of its beak: SHUT UP. [SNICKER] DON’T SPOIL IT. [SNICKER]](https://feddit.nl/pictrs/image/6e743700-5eb1-494c-8658-f0d7086b6d46.webp)
![This is a comic Panel 1: We see a whale-watching boat out at sea. The passengers look bored, glancing around with little enthusiasm. The guide stands helplessly, unsure of what to do. Harold Kaminski stands alone in a corner by the railing, looking seasick. A passenger speaks to the guide. Passenger: NOT MUCH WHALE ACTION TODAY, HUH? Guide: NO, NOT REALLY. SORRY. Panel 2: A mother tries to soothe her child, who is complaining. Child: MOMMY, THIS IS BOOOORING! I WANNA SEE WHAAAALES! Mother: SWEATY, THEY CAN’T MAKE THE WHALES COME UP. The guide glances thoughtfully at Harold, who is hanging over the railing, trying his best not to throw up. Guide: YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT BE THE ROUGH SEA. Panel 3: The mother looks surprised at the calm sea. Mother: ROUGH? Guide: YEAH. SEA CREATURES DON’T LIKE ALL THAT SLOSHING AROUND. Guide: YOU KNOW… ALL THAT BACK AND FORTH. Panel 4: The guide looks sideways at Harold. Guide: BAAAACK AND FOOORTH! Harold looks even more nauseated. Harold: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD Guide: AND LEFT AND RIGHT! EVERYBODY NOW! Panel 5: Guide: LEFT! Guide: RIGHT! Guide: CAN YOU FEEL YOUR STOMACH ROCKIN’?!? Panel 6: Harold starts retching with wild noises and jerking neck movements. [URK URK URK] Harold vomits overboard. [BARF] Panel 7: Fish come to the surface of the water to eat the puke. A whale leaps out of the ocean to eat the fish. Everybody cheers.](https://feddit.nl/pictrs/image/1236b7eb-85d3-443b-969e-f2a183090bbe.jpeg)
![Police cars swarm a bank. Inside, Bob—a frantic farmer with a shotgun—holds hostages. Bob: OH NO! THE COPS! He’s sweating, panicked. Bob: CAN’T GO TO JAIL! OH GOD, NO! He grabs a woman—Elsa. Bob: YOU! COME WITH ME! Elsa: NO, PLEASE! I HAVE STOC— Bob: QUIET! Gun to her neck, he trembles. Bob: I’M SORRY. I CAN’T LOSE MY FARM OR GO TO JAIL. NOW WALK! Outside: Elsa: WHAT’S YOUR NAME? Bob: BOB. Elsa: CAN YOU FLY A HELICOPTER? Bob: UH… YES? She yells to the cops. Elsa: HE WANTS A FUELED-UP CHOPPER—NO PILOT! Bob: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Elsa: GET US OUT. PULL ME BACK INSIDE. Elsa: AND TWO PARACHUTES! YOU’VE GOT FORTY-FIVE MINUTES! Inside, she grabs a backpack. Elsa: YOU! MONEY IN THE BAG OR I GET IT! Later—they run to the helicopter. Elsa fierce. Bob stunned. Elsa: DON’T TRY ANYTHING OR HE’LL PAINT THE STREET WITH MY BRAINS! They lift off. Elsa: FUCK YEAH! WE DID IT! Bob: BUT… WHERE ARE WE GOING? A police chopper follows. Elsa: SHIT! She fires. [BLAM] It crashes. Elsa: GOT ‘EM! Elsa: TO THE BAHAMAS, BOB! They jump mid-air. Elsa confident. Bob terrified, clutching the money. The chopper flies off alone. Later, on a beach: Elsa sunbathes in underwear, cocktail in hand. Bob awkward in rolled-up overalls. Bob: SO… STOCKHOLM SYNDROME? Elsa: YEP. LIFELONG CASE. Elsa: LET’S GET MARRIED. OPEN A SEAFOOD PLACE. BOB & ELSA’S SEA SHACK.](https://feddit.nl/pictrs/image/d0840c19-294b-4a67-8eac-3725108300ce.webp)
![This is a 12 panel comic
Panel 1:
Boyfriend and Girlfriend are slouched on the couch, watching TV.
Panel 2:
The Cat pops up in front of Boyfriend with a dead animal in its mouth.
The Cat says: “MRRREOW?”
Panel 3:
Boyfriend says: “UHHH, BABE? YOUR CAT HAS CAUGHT SOMETHING.”
Girlfriend raises her head.
Girlfriend says: “OH MY GOD! WHAT IS IT!?”
Panel 4:
The Cat drops a dead frog into Boyfriend’s hands.
Boyfriend says: “A FROG.”
Girlfriend says: “EWWW. IS IT DEAD?”
Panel 5:
Boyfriend says: “YEAH.”
Girlfriend says: “OH THANK GOD.”
Panel 6:
Girlfriend says: “ON THE BRIGHT SIDE: SNUGGLES HAS ACCEPTED YOU AS ITS HUMAN DADDY.”
Boyfriend says: “OH?”
Panel 7:
Girlfriend says: “BETTER NOT HURT HIS FEELINGS. SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION FOR THE GIFT.”
Panel 8:
Boyfriend looks at the dead frog for a moment. Then, he puts it in his mouth.
[HOG]
Panel 9:
Boyfriend is chewing on the frog. He looks disgusted but keeps going.
[CRUNCH MUNCH]
Panel 10:
Girlfriend says: “NO, YOU IDIOT! A SIMPLE PAT ON THE HEAD WOULD’VE BEEN JUST FINE!”
Panel 11:
Boyfriend coughs up the frog’s head.
[HAGCK]
Panel 12:
Boyfriend gives the frog’s head a few pats.
[PAT PAT PAT]
Boyfriend says: “NOBODY TELLS ME THESE THINGS.”](https://feddit.nl/pictrs/image/9cbed179-3a39-4243-bdd6-a253f53c7304.jpeg)
![Panel 1: A group of people steps out of a time machine labeled "Aeon Time Travel Tours." The leader says, "Well, here we are. The Archean Eon." The travelers react with amazement. "Wow." "Amazing." Panel 2: The leader warns, "Stay close together. Watch your step." A man and a woman giggle as they put on bibs, preparing for something. Panel 3: The leader adds, "And don’t touch anything." The man and woman excitedly reach into their inner pockets and exchange eager looks. "Ready?" the man asks. "Yip," the woman responds. Panel 4: The man and woman run away from the group, giggling, with spoons in hand. In the background, the leader and the rest of the group look on. "Hey!!!" the leader shouts. Panel 5: The leader yells, "Stop eating the primordial soup!!!" The man and woman are happily scooping and eating from a small pool of the ancient, life-giving liquid. [SCHLURP SCHLURP SCHLURP] "Hmmm. Umami," the man comments. "Scrumptious," the woman adds.](https://feddit.nl/pictrs/image/80ab41b3-4605-4ad1-a201-0abd2591b5aa.webp)
