Off My Chest

“I like you but I don’t think I can deal with this anymore. I really don’t like talking to people and I can’t commit. I’m sorry. I’m not going to break up with you, I just don’t like talking. I like you, but you wear me out.”

It’s supposed to help our attachment to each other and mental health to take a break, but we’re gonna miss each other deeply. I was sad before and we were talking so much but I had a PTSD breakdown and now we’re not gonna speak to each other. At least it will be 24 hours sending like one message to each other but I think I’ll cry more.

Now, I have a chance to work more on myself. I don’t think I was right for her or to have any sort of commitment. Plus, I couldn’t even appreciate the things that made her happy. I apologized but I felt so bad.

Ever since I was a child, I would have emotional outbursts. i have a bad fear of abandonment complete with severe attachment to my fiancée.

So I guess my parents are getting divorced for real this time. I've only gotten like 3 hours of sleep in the last two days, and now I'm sitting wondering if I have the strength to call my dad, who will probably die of sheer heartbreak either way.

First off, I woke up depressed yesterday morning. Next, I couldn’t sleep until very late last night while my fiancé could easily and quickly get to sleep.

First off, i just wanna say thank you so much for listening and being supportive 🙏

I had a crush on a girl (Girl A) before I met my current partner, (now I identify as straight or bi-curious) but she was really good friends with my bully (Girl B).

Last night was the first night in more than a month that my best friend and I hung out. It was for her 40th birthday. For background, everyone but me in our friend group is Vietnamese. So when people started showing up, they spoke Vietnamese only. This is fine, I get it. They’d rather speak their mother tongue around me. Even if that means I don’t understand a word anyone is saying. I’ve brought this up to her, only for her to turn it around me as if somehow it is my fault for not joining a conversation that I have no frame of reference to. Whatever, it is what it is.

I'm silently stressing out currently because I'm worried my relationship will end.

I (20f) was 13 and dated a 33 year old, jake. Here’s the thing, though. It happened 7 years ago but i still feel a bit bad for it.

I have a pendent that is made of the ashes of my best friend. I carry him around all the times. He unfortunately left me unexpectedly a few years ago.

It my not be as serious as other posts but I got nowhere to vent.

Update: Thank you for all your kind words. I am now crying in my car reading your comments in my work's garage. My shift starts soon. I am going to dry my face first and think about resignation.

I had someone narc to my boss today about a completely non-impact error. (Meaning it doesn't affect our user base whatsoever.)

I (19M) call my American girlfriend (22F) long-distance. However, I’m autistic and very nervous when I call.

Fuck you for trying to control me.

I’m going to use an alt, this account, due to people I know using Lemmy.

I (20M) had this woman friend (19F) when we were teens, like 15 and 16. The friend talked behind people’s backs. She made fun of them for being wheelchair users, autistic, etc. She said she didn’t want to be that way but she was. Me and my other friend went along with it and called her a good person. We defended her because she was good to us and that’s all that mattered.

We will talk it out, I’m not venting but rather just wanted to talk about it.

title

So I've got laid off recently and I decided I wanted to keep my projects that I worked on as a reference for myself, I wouldn't sell them or anything like that, just bits of code I created. So I just went and copied pretty much everything relevant to me off my work laptop, only local files, nothing really super confidential, just code projects for specific inhouse usage and documentation about them. Also my personal folders where I did have a few personal things as well, just so I don't lose access to those. I wouldn't have used it for anything but personal reference, like I wouldn't even know what else to do with it. Stupid, I know. Well, they found out, with some DLP software I didn't know we had. So now I will have to go and meet, my bosses, hr and legal. Don't know how that is going to go, I will just say I'm sorry, I deleted everything in a panic, which probably was also dumb, but I'll bring my laptop and the wiped drive that I used. I am just really really nervous and I could throw up.

I did say I haven’t spoken to him since he moved out of the house to a hotel. This is true.

I don’t know where to put this.

On Monday I have a meeting with my boss and his boss. They wouldn't say what for, only that "I shouldn't worry". Which makes me ABSOLUTELY worry. Don't think I'll be fired but I'll probably be put on a PIP or something.

I just don’t care if we survive as a species. We aren’t surviving forever. I care about having a good time while we can. I don’t think having ten billion people with 99% of them being poor is good. I don’t think 20 billion forced to eat bugs and die of treatable disease is good. I don’t think having kids just to have kids and keep the species going is good.

And look I grew up watching like cheesy Mormon missionary made movies, so I’ve seen some terrible movies. In fact, this movie did kind of remind me of those except unlike those, it had like 0 intentional OR accidental comedy.

I hate this town. I hate this fucking town.

I enjoy writing software, but...

I’m Chris, a 20-year-old Dutch & Polish guy. I happen to be quite emotionally unstable and lack empathy, and I hate myself for it, but I am good at hiding it.

thank you, my handsome boyfriend ❤️

So, I have been friends with Belinda for a while and just broke free.

While I enjoyed receiving feedback on my art, I'm just getting tired of people ignoring the link in the description, baselessly accusing me of using AI and not apologizing after I correct them. The latest accusation was on Tumblr and it was then that I just thought to myself "you know what, I've had enough of this"

I’m a useless, pathetic dog. I’m a worthless creep who will never have value or amount to anything, just like she said.

All I do is talk about the situation, and it’s probably not gonna do anything for my mental health despite its recentness.

I told him he's a fictional character from a game and I told him who created him, and how he's an AI with the character's personality programmed into it.

This is not a pity party kind of post. I’m trying to be as pragmatic as possible. I don’t think that anyone owes me anything.

Why does it have to be me? I try to be kind to others, I try to be there for them and friendly, and because of my autism, I get nothing but cruelty for it.

(i decided to post this on a throwaway)

It was Sept. 2005. Recovery after Hurricane Katrina. I was 18 years old in Mid Southern Mississippi. My grandfather had a work shop that collapsed and he had about $300K of metal working equipment in the shop. I spent many summers in that shop making S-locks and ducts for multiple buildings in the town and state

I’m writing this because I can’t carry the silence anymore. I don’t want advice. I don’t need anyone to fix it. I just want someone to see this. To hear me. To know this story happened, and it hurt.

Back in 2019, I was broken up by my ex which pretty much destroyed me. Well, long story short...2 years later I met someone and against my best judgement we entered a relationship.

Hi. I’m a Christian Polish (and Dutch) man (20M) who’s been outright terrible for years. I, like other people I’ve known, have been rather traditional. Patriotic and bigoted, you know the type. However, there was one thing I always thought was wrong with me: I’m attracted to men.

What i mean with the title is: Mothers often feel as if they can't be successful themselves, due to their role as a mother. So, they try to make their child(ren) "successful" in their place. What that entails is a strict, hierarchical upbringing and a lot of "discipline" for the child(ren). As a direct consequence, the child(ren) have significantly reduced Quality Of Life, to the point of many committing suicide, and as such they are definitely a thing that can end lifes, or personal worlds (for the children). As such, they are clearly one of the "horsemen of the apocalypse".

I have a couple of them, but to be honest I'm not even sure if I like them more, or less, than rubber membrane keyboards. There's kind of a sharpness to the sounds they usually produce, almost a kind of plastic-on-plastic squeek, and I find that unpleasant. If I could afford it, or if they were affordable, I might give a Topre keyboard a try, but to be honest I really don't care enough about keyboards to worry about that.

So a lot of this I recognize has more to do with me than others, but wanted to get it out somewhere.

She's one of my former workmates from my second-to-last job. She's a fucking weirdo, but she's my kind of weirdo. All grim and trash Goth, deals with crystals and Wiccan stuff, which I like as lore and nothing more, but I love about her. She annoys me in all the right ways.

Edit for clarity, I'm talking about when someone holds their sword in the grip where the blade is pointed along the forearm, instead of the usually grip, where it's an extension of your arm. I clearly don't know how much general knowledge people have about swords.

I’m German. The USA made it possible for me to grow up in a functional democracy. Hundreds of thousands of Americans died so I could have that privilege. They died fighting for my unborn ass's rights, against my grandparents' fellows. Fortunately, my grandparents weren’t involved in killing them, but that was pure chance. Growing up, the USA was the shining beacon in the west. The country that was so much better, freer and cooler than mine. I learnt English listening to American Forces Network, the radio station of the US armed forces in Germany, every night. Literally my main goal in life was to be able to one day move to the USA and become a citizen. I lived in the USA for one year pre-9/11 and could hardly wait to finish my studies and maybe one day acquire a Green Card. But after 2001 (damn, that’s already 24 years ago), it started to turn. I celebrated when the German chancellor refused to support the USA in the illegal invasion of Iraq. Then I stayed up every night, watching the live footage from the reporters embedded with the invasion forces. It was awesome. It was awful. Nowadays it’s just the latter. Trump v1 was a fluke, Trump v2 put the USA on the same level as Russia for me. (I know enough Russians to know the situation is comparable. Russians aren’t one single bit more evil or more complacent than US Americans in 2025. And neither are Chinese.)

Yeah having a job is So Grown for me, a worthless thing below society, but not having a job makes me a burden. Showering is So Fancy but not showering makes me a burden. Doing my chores and being responsible is So Wannabe Grown but if I don't do them I'm a burden. What is the point of living if I get bullied for everything I do because it's "trying to be grown" at fucking 26 years old? Right it's so funny that I want to be grown up so badly that I work a job and take care of my body, that's so fucking funny. I really should have killed myself when I originally wanted to at 7 to spare myself from twenty more years of the same bullying and abuse.

I just learned that George Foreman died recently. And while I'm not a big fan of boxing and his grills were okay to have used when I shared one with a roommate. I just got that feeling all over me again that the world is once again a little more greyer.

Most people will probably disagree and say that I shouldn't be here if I don't like it, but yeah, like the title said. I switched over from Reddit for various reasons, and at first it was nice, but now it's making me depressed just casually browsing Lemmy. Everything here is so drab and negative, sometimes even downright hateful. Everything sucks, here's a list of companies you should never use, here's people that do horrible things, here's a bunch of complaints about stuff. This is why the world sucks, this is why your favourite thing is actually stupid, this is why you shouldn't enjoy xyz anymore.

I've always thought ghosting was a terrible thing to do to someone, and now that I've experienced it for the first time I know for sure how fucked up it is.

I created my lemmy account just for this, I really need some help and have been unable to post elsewhere.

i feel so alone. i don't want to be alone. i think of her every day - every hour, i even wake up thinking of her. she takes hours to answer my texts. often over 12 hours, sometimes over 24h. she is always my first thought in the morning.

I wanted to create entertainment media, clothes, websites, and a lot more honestly. I also thought of having children but I didn't think I'd ever find someone I actually loved. Well now I'm in a relationship, and children have been discussed multiple times, but I feel like I'm doing everything way too late. I'm 27, finding myself like a tween since I was abused into being a zombie when I was that age.

*Mods: I was unsure if a politics-related rant was ok. If not: sorry!*

12 hours from now, 11 years ago, I was *very* nearly killed riding a bicycle to work. I'm partially physically disabled now. Holding posture is very limited for me, but I'm still mobile. Last year I did the same ride on the same route. I ran into someone I worked with that was doing well and it had a disproportionate negative effect to see their success.

EDIT: ESH. I've been an asshole without realising it, and my friends really weren't open about the drama until very recently. I was right, though--I'm terrible at explaining myself. We agree drugs aren't a problem for me, but I should keep discussion light. Kairos--there is a time and a place for everything.

Having just experienced my first comment removals without any sort of notification or explanation, I was suddenly reminded of how things went down on Reddit during the API thing and people's attitude towards it.

I spent my whole life experimented on, neglected, bullied; physically, mentally, and emotionally abused, and used to inspire all the actual real people into donating to an institution I was locked away in over a stupid puzzle piece misdiagnosis. My parents did not raise me and my siblings were my first bullies. I was the scapegoat for everything that went wrong. I wasn't allowed to do anything for myself, which made me a burden, but I also wasn't allowed to learn or try them as that made me spoiled and ungrateful.

I've been looking into daddy issues recently and I'm honestly starting to believe I have some of the symptoms.

I'm sick of hearing the whining of "gifted" children. Like, why are they even "gifted" to begin with? What... they remember the names of shapes and count well and we're supposed to believe they're the second coming of Albert Einstein?

This is not a personal issue.

I'm gonna meander a bit, I'm neutro spicy and I feel like the context here is important.

I need to get this off my chest. School bus came early, and I was not there to get my child as the bus is usually late. There were vehicles which stopped for the bus, which waited for under 1 minute, then just passed the school bus all one after the other while bus was flashing and stop sign was out.

I completely support corporations or public agencies going their own way on web updates rather than using a microblogging platform like Twitter, but for fucks sake it's completely pointless to post an update without the time and date (and ideally and expiration). For example I was looking for trail conditions in a state park near me and I have no idea when the conditions posted are for. Now, I can go onto the web archive and figure it out, if I want to, but that's not what most people will know how to do.

I hope that this works because apparently even though I'm signed up on lemmy.world and visiting a sub native to lemmy.world, all that this subreddit loads for me is one single post from 2024 (and yet I can see all posts from my myserv.one instance).

i don't want to fgeel anything. i'm in so much physical discomfort right now becaouse i'm feeling so anxious and nervous abouto the fact that i should be studing but all this feelings are just making it impossible. i want to be so high right now just so i could stop feeling anything. i'm scratching the back of my head so much that i'm hurting myself and i'd want to punch myself in the face or bite my hands I hate that i can't stop this feeling. i only i could start studing than i'd be okay but no, because it's just a studid fucking circle that i am unable to break and it makes everything awful

Thought that I would start off my first post in this place by getting this off my chest. In case anyone is wondering why more people haven't flocked to Lemmy yet, this has been my experience so far.

If a white person was So Astonished and Shocked that a *black person* accomplished something almost as good as a white person would, they'd be called racist. But black people can literally treat themselves and their children that way and it's empowerment.

I have been spending the holidays with my wife's family. All of them are die hard trump supporters. This town they live in, are all die hard trump supporters.

So short background. I'm a self taught web developer who lucked into working at a friend's startup with practically no skills and only a couple basic CRUD to do style apps under my belt. I learned a lot, but never touched DSA. Did this for a couple years. Startup failed to get its last round of funding, and yep, I'm outta work.

Please tell me if I'm the asshole here. But holy crap. I know mod's get a bad wrap rap but wow do the mods seem WAY more petty and petulant here.