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The Monkey's Paw

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I wish I could be rid of my allergies

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I wish I had the super strength of Superman, with my entire body being able to safely deal with the increased forces

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I wish the thing causing my hiccups would manifest as a physical object so I could beat the everloving shit out of it with a hammer and finally go to sleep.

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I wish all declawed cats got their claws returned to normal

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I wish for two of the best Belgian beers ever made.

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Would really hit the spot right about now.

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I wish that any time a person, company, or automated system they've deployed issues an objectively false DMCA request, all of their intellectual property becomes public domain.

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[deleted]
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I wish I could have peace and quiet for a few hours

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I wish my hippos were less hungry hungry

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I wish the magic hadn't gone away in Star vs The forces of evil.

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I wish for a bowl of extra spicy chicken curry.

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Would hit the spot right about now.

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I wish my house cleaned itself

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I wish that all children born from this day forward enjoy a better quality of life than their parents had.

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I wish to no longer receive text messages from various numbers about Ohio politics

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I wish my new water bottle contained an infinite supply of ice cold drinking water.

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I wish for servers at restaurants to always bring my tea or water with lemon already included, without me having to ask for it separately.

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Save a few words. Make life easier. How can this possibly go wrong?

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I wish cows were the size of cats so we could have them as pets

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I wish I could freeze and unfreeze time at will and explore this time-frozen world with my bestie

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I wish that every website that works only in Chrome also has to be compatible with Firefox.

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I wouldn't have Chrome installed if it weren't for those crappy school and government websites that refuse to work on anything else but Chrome.

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I wish my body to be in peak human shape no matter what I do

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I wish my dog could walk himself.

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It would be so much more convenient for the both of us, and then he could go outside, anywhere, whenever he likes.

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I wish for Linux to have a respectable marketshare of 20%

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I wish I was good enough at football to play professionally

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I wish for free healthcare in my country

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I wish politicians could only tell the truth.

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I wish my deck to be freshly cleaned and the fence painted

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I wish I was I was on paid vacation for two weeks starting immediately.

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I really don't want to go into work tomorrow.

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I wish humans could not deliberately lie or otherwise deceive each other.

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I wish every major social network integrated activitypub.

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I wish everyone on earth grew lush facial hair

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I wish I had a small magical creature that would answer all my questions (accurately)

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I wish for the mass of the proton to increase by 10^-27kg

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I wish I knew the outcome of any relationship before I get involved

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I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

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I wish I succeeded right away at everything I attempt

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I wish that the Monkey's Paw had never existed, and therefore that nobody has ever wished on it.

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I wish that something bad happens to me

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I wish countries maintained their interest and funding in space even after the space race.

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I wish for a sandwich.

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A good one.

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I wish I could paramestee my pegmode.

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I wish every website was pornographic.

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I wish everyone used Linux.

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I wish Woody Allen had been a gerontophile his whole life, instead of a pedophile.

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I wish for a high five from the monkey's paw

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I wish I could temporarily smell like whatever I wanted, as long as I had a sample of the smell with me

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I wish every restaurant that sold chicken wings also sold real dodo wings.

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I wish everyone could swallow other people whole.

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I wish for it to snow tomorrow.

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I wish that Lemmy is the only social network from now on.

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I wish for all the blind, mute, deaf, and paralyzed to regain their senses/abilities.

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I wish for a pure wish that cannot be corrupted or have unintended side-effects

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I wish spiders whispered at night

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I wish that Donald Trump and all his descendants suddenly grow taste buds throughout their lower intestine and anus, so that they are constantly and inescapably tasting their own shit.

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And that it's genetic, so that it's passed down to all his descendants; and that all people who marry into the family also have it happen to them

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I wish for more wishes.

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I wish I had the details (numbers and passwords) to unlock and use the largest crypto wallet that is currently lost irrevocably

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No one else can use it so maybe I can do some good with that money

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I wish I could communicate with animals

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I wish I had a physical "Undo" button I could use in real life and not just on my computer

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