The Onion

This classic from The Onion was originally published all the way back in 2003.

Because too many people in this community seem to be under the impression that satire requires a fictional premise... It does not, and never has.

An aid boat carrying environmental campaigner Greta Thunberg and other activists was intercepted by Israeli forces, with Israel’s defense minister having vowed to prevent the ship from reaching the Gaza Strip. What do you think?

“CRACK the right egg and get 1% off for every year since nothing of note happened in Tiananmen Square on that fateful day,” confirmed the welcome screen on consumers’ Temu apps today, as the Chinese discount online marketplace of stuff that you’ll end up throwing away sought to mark the anniversary.

MEXICO CITY (The Borowitz Report)—In a move likely to stir controversy, Mexico has officially renamed the Liberty Bell “the TACO Bell,” the Mexican president announced on Monday.

2023 but aged well

Fries is just as confident about the eye-watering price Musk wants for a trip to Mars. “I’m slapping down my hundred grand as soon as that fortune a Nigerian prince left me arrives. The future is so bright, I need sunglasses.”

WASHINGTON—Saying the plight of white South African farmers affected him on a deeply personal level, President Donald Trump issued a statement Thursday in which he shared his own experiences as a victim of white genocide.

Lucky ferry passengers, who were almost too distracted by a pod of orcas breaching in Elliott Bay, caught a rare glimpse today of a single cargo ship entering the Port of Seattle.

WASHINGTON—In a move that significantly restricts the eligibility of thousands of American troops to fight for their country on the front lines, senior U.S. military officials announced Wednesday that all men with girl names would now be forbidden from serving in combat roles.