/c/Vent: Vent about your life here

My pants are getting on a bit so I figured I'd get some new ones. They fit me perfectly at a length of 32 inches, so I figured I'd buy the same online. My new pants are delivered and they're way too short. Alright, let's go to the shop instead so we can actually try things. The pants marked as length 32 are dragging on the floor. Let's try the length 30 then. Alright, that fits but I'm not too fond of the material. Let's try a different brand. Oh, the other brand is dragging on the floor at length 30? Let's check a guide to see how to measure my true size. Seems simple enough, hold a book between the thighs and measure from the floor to the top of the book. But the guide doesn't come with a chart to tell you the size, so let's check another website.. XS, that can't be right? Oh, it's actually from the crotch to the end of the trouser leg?

I work in a 4,000+ person company. Two years ago, the CEO created a dozen new positions underneath him. President. Chief of Marketing. Chief of Design. Chief of Product. Chief of Buildings. Etc.

Back to school after 5 years, figured id finally finish up that engineering degree, got all of my Gen eds out of the way and me and my fiancée have even moved out to be closer to the school.

So, I placed an order last Wednesday, same country different city, it cost a not insignificant sum of money. Package only started moving on Thursday, although the shop had handed it over to the courier service the day prior.

I'm gonna cut past a lot of stuff here, but for the last two years me and my gf have been in a constant state of moving/working fulltime/dealing with insurance bullshit. My now fiancée and I have finally settled into our newest place, and plan to stay here a minimum of 2 years. Since I've moved I'm waiting to tell my insurance because I know they'll say "well you can't have the same insurance anymore for some reason".

If the posts are removed already: This is a fairly aggrovated response to the vent Mods apparantly having od‘d on Keta again and the AI slop running around here like the mods are probably while shitting their brain out

Delete if this doesn't qualify as a vent.

At this point I should use a different frontend, but given how often YouTube likes to break anything connected to it with its constant changes, I've put it off...

Yeah interesting that being away from bullies and creeps and abusive adults at an institution, rapists at high school, adults who treated me like a wild animal, and family who bullied me my whole life for every aspect of who I was, I actually have a personality, I can hold conversations, I can work a job, I take care of myself and my living space, and I don't cut myself as much anymore, fucking interesting it's almost as if that stupid shit is fake and all these children are suffering from being the roach of their families and being gaslit into believing constant bullying is love.

I fucking despise the way my boss prioritizes profits above all else, including employee/customer satisfaction. Why bother pleasing the customer if you're just going to fuck them over the next time they visit? Tired of being blame for the complaints about shit that's managements fault and I have no control over.

Everyone would seriously raise one child to be an unwanted dependent burden then bully it as revenge for it existing and being a burden. Yeah it could have been an independent human being but you raised it to be scum, and the reason why it's worthless scum is because it was born with some meaningless label, right. Then when it tries to do anything on its own everyone in its life bullies it for trying to be a real human. So funny that it thinks it's on the same level as actual people, right. It should know its place as a dependent burdensome permanent toddler. But then it's too old to need actual people washing its face and brushing its teeth, so the actual people use spit and toilet water as revenge. And if it says anything about it, it's just throwing a little fit for not getting what it wants when it wants and it's funny.

The longer I live, the more I'll need to fight to just be a human being. What is the point of living if I'm only going to be seen exclusively as That Shit? I envy all the actual people who get to be actual human beings. Like, Toby Fox made those popular games, but if that were me, that stupid disorder made the game. It's popular because that stupid shit made me talented and smart. But if I lost interest in making games, that stupid shit made me uninterested. Just fucking eradicate that stupid fake shit already. Everyone is suffering from something with an actual name, definition, and treatment. That stupid puzzle piece shit is only an excuse to give up on children not worth anyone's time. It's fucking fake and it destroys lives before they can even start.

I have a problem at my job, I have certain coworkers I'm just a huge chatterbox with, I'm not making excuses for myself, but essentially we had a huge project coming up, a lot of looming huge wires, a lot of physical labor. I was chatting and working, admittedly slowing things down, when the supervisor of the department said, "hey, we're calling X over since he's faster, you can go back to your department."

I am feeling anxious and emotionally numb. I possibly also feel some depression. It seems like I have had so many cups of coffee since this morning as my comfort drink; I hope this helps brighten my day.

For the past 4 years, I have poured everything I have into my passion as a professional wrestling referee. There's not much money in it, but I've dreamed about making it to one of the larger national companies and this year all my work was finally start to pay off with being booked in Vegas during WrestleMania week and being booked for several large arena shows.

Some dude I've known for years just showed his true colours in the most subhuman way possible and I cannot get past it.

I regret being a child with hobbies like every other child. Every hobby was some stupid Exquisite Talent that I had to be filmed and shoved down everyone's throats for. Everything I enjoyed was only for the smartest intellectuals and I had to be filmed and interviewed for that as well. I literally was the equivalent of Elon Musk and Trump, everyone was so tired of hearing about what random mundane thing I accomplished this time. But I was also the asshole for wanting to be normal as I'm passing up a rare privilege everyone else wished they had.

So basically there were these tortilla wraps I would use to make wraps.. they had 25% corn.

If a child went insane something probably happened to them, but label that child with a puzzle piece and nothing happened, they were always insane.

You will only be as loved as much as you qualify for free money or have some "talent" that generates money.

I hate telling people I chose my name as they don't see me as just my name but someone who "prefers" to be called my name. It's either that or them assuming my parents chose my name, which they did not. My parents chose a fake ooga booga mockery of an "African" name that was so bad it could have worked as a racial or ethnic slur. I hated that crap. I avoided making friends to just not be called that shit. I've picked fights with well-meaning people for calling that shit "pretty". I'd rather die than be called that shit. I ditched all my high school and college friends including some I was very close to because I knew they would continue to call me that shit. When I had jobs before the name change, I never stayed in touch with any friends I made there either.

I still feel like it's not worth doing anything if a stupid disorder is going to take credit for everything I did. The same stupid disorder that was the reason why I wasn't supposed to grow or work. There's no escaping that shit and changing my name isn't enough. Asshole data brokers pieced together that I changed my name and connect that stupid birth name to my name when anyone googles either one. I'm just going to be stalked by aps before I end up with als or cancer and trapped in some abusive institution or hospital again anyway. Trying to reclaim my life is wasted effort and resources. If we're so against killing unwanted children then we should at least allow euthanasia for anyone with the unwanted disorders.

I'm about to start DoorDashing for more $$$ to buy things I don't need and also save for my apartment and I'm excited! I know I won't get thaaaaaat much but I need an excuse to ride around in this awesome weather! 🎉

I feel like everyone likes another fake personality instead of me. I'm a void. I'm nothing. Eventually they'll see that I'm nothing on the inside and I'd rather just disappear before that happens. I really give up. I think my boyfriend deserves a better woman but he's so set on me. I'm horrible. I hate that I love him. I deserve nothing. I should have just known my place and continued hiding myself from society. It's all so overwhelming.

I find myself alone now. Most of my family's dead, the ones who're alive are not the kind of people with whom I'd associate, my friends have turned out to be fool's gold, so all I have are my thoughts.

Thanks for reading

I'm just done. I'm always going to be reduced to a disorder I don't have, and a skin color. I'll always be worse than every terrorist or extremist for wanting to be treated normally.

I hate that one of them is interested in dating me and jokes often about me being his future wife. I like him a lot but I'm not good enough for him or worth anyone's time. I'm scum. I know he'd be sad if I died but I think he's better off without me. The others usually see me happy and would probably be shocked that I died. I probably shouldn't care since I wouldn't be there to see them sad. I don't know. Even though my life got much better 3 years ago, I don't see it improving any more than that. It'll go downhill if I don't cut my losses soon. I really give up on everything. I'll be a horrible wife and mother, worse than I already am as a friend and a person. I'm ruined beyond repair, end me

Another reason to kill myself. This shit is impossible to escape, like marijuana smoke and vape on a bus. Yeah I'm such a widdle pussy loser oh so sensitive to Adult Topics. I'm so sick of all adult media being death and porn, and everything else is cocomelon brainrot. Every fucking day living with FaMiLy is just constant screaming, choking, vomiting, crying, yelling, and all these sound effects to elicit anxiety 24/7. And at work some fucking tiktok addicted marijuana user wearing a leather jacket while working in a heated warehouse is playing the same stupid shit on a speaker when bone conduction headphones are permitted. Just fucking buy a pair of those for $20 instead of using a $100 brand name speaker to blast people pretending to die at everyone else. All TV and movies are just little kids stuff or watching people die. All user generated media is just cocomelon, porn, or gross "asmr" crap. All music is nursery rhymes or porn audiobooks. I'm sick of everything.

I can't just get rid of the other one since I've become so attached to her. We've been through all my suffering at the same time. But she's everything I'm not, that I wish I could have been: white, tall, masculine, creative, talented, and unattractive. I envy that someone like her doesn't have weed addicts and random people begging for her number. Anyone who would be her friend would actually like her for who she is and not her appearance or some shallow reason.

As I see it, these are the options we now have at this moment, November 2024.